Mom Truth

I don't typically do a lot of "feeling" writing on my blog. I use this to share with family and friends what we are doing in the Stewie Knutson household. However, I feel it is time I share a few "feelings" since this week has been full of them!

Last Monday, Charlie started daycare at Nessa's house. We visited the week before, dropped off his things and generally put my mind at ease again that we chose the right daycare mom. However, when Monday morning rolled around I was a wreck! I didn't have to be in Austin until 8:30, but I woke up early to help Tony get Charlie all ready. At 5:30 I was feeding Charlie and tears started slowly falling down my cheeks. I kept thinking, "This is ridiculous! I was able to spend 5 wonderful months home with him! Why am I so upset?" I was even more confused because I've been so excited to get to school and start my career as a teacher. I quickly wiped those tears away before Tony could see me. He would think I'm silly...

I changed Charlie and decided to have a little play time before Tony got him in the car. The entire time I couldn't stop thinking about how time has flown so fast. 5 months ago he was this tiny little peanut who never left my side; now, he's this big boy, rolling around, eating baby food and going off to daycare. Those pesky tears returned....

While Tony was getting his work things in order, Charlie and I sat on the stairs cuddling. Finally, Tony had to pry Charlie out of my hands...I couldn't seem to let go of him! As Tony got him buckled in and set in the car, my tears were out of control! I sat on those stairs and cried for a good 15 minutes.

I've heard this is normal, but I figured I would be just fine. I wasn't the one dropping Charlie off, and again I had those 5 months with him. All day I checked my phone and resisted calling or texting Nessa. I barely heard the material from my class (which was an amazing week--talk more about that later...)

The second I was out of class, I called Tony. He said that Charlie was a perfect angel all day. Nessa absolutely loved having him! That night, Nessa text me giving me ALL the details from the day. When I told her I resisted texting her all day, she told me to text or call whenever I want. She doesn't mind one bit. Again, so grateful we found her!

Charlie was a tired little boy all week, but he is still our happy healthy little guy. It hasn't gotten easier for me yet, but I'm sure there will come a morning when the tears don't return...

This is the newest smile from Charlie. He sucks in his lower lip. What a silly boy!

This ball is a favorite in our household!